Last night I retired to the bedroom at 9pm. I slept all night soundly and peacefully in a room that was a perfect 68 degrees. I woke up at 7:00am on my own with no alarm clock, no crying kiddos, and the husband already at work. I did yoga in the living room for 30 minutes. Alone. Then I had hot apple cider, read the funnies in the paper, and I made an omelet with fancy cheeses and had time to whip up a fruit smoothie. I took my apple cider to the porch and sat on the swing and waited for the kiddos to wake up so I could make them perfect waffles.
as if. I WISH. the only person who would believe this is my mom, who would exclaim “yay! you deserve this!”
here’s how it really went down.
Husband and I went to bed at 10:30pm, which is early for us. And by went to bed, I mean, at 10:30pm we turned off the TV in the living room, closed the blinds, washed some dishes, let the dog in, locked the doors, checked the doors, checked the kids, got our PJs on, and yes, brushed our teeth (no energy for flossing). So, we’re talking, 11:20pm, finally counting sheep.
And the temperature? Freezing. Because i had the bedroom window open. Because the dog has terrible gas.
At 2:00 am, we woke up to the dog staring at us. She had to go out. So out she went, and we went back to sleep.
At 4:50 am, the baby woke up. I fed him, put him back to sleep, stumbled back into my room, wondered for a quick second whatever happened to the dog, and then I quickly passed out.
At 5:30 am, I was awoken by some pretty nutty panicky sounds: While my husband was ironing his work shirt, the iron sparked, shorted out, and burned the plug off.
At 6:15am, I went back to sleep.
At 6:45am, darling kid #2 screamed that they were trying to get dressed and “I don’t have any underwearrrrrrrrrr!”. i got up, zombie walked to their room, opened their drawer, pulled out the top pair, handed it off, and zombie walked back to bed.
At 6:47am, darling kid #2 whispered in my sleeping ear if they could eat a graham cracker in the living room while watching TV? I got up, and made it so.
At 7:00am, the baby woke up. And my day officially started. And I made breakfast. And this mess happened:
yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay. but i DID get my hot apple cider. and kid #1 slept till 8.
RITZ
momantic comedy 
I was afraid from Word One that you were going to say it was all a dream. But it WILL get better, and you will get some sleep — when they are teenagers and you can’t drag them out of bed before noon! I admit, when the kids were big enough to turn on Sat. AM cartoons and eat cheerios out of the box for a little while, I cherished going back to bed for that wonderful dreamy hour. And their dad liked to get up early. I am a lifelong insomniac, so I was severely sleep deprived most of my life. Never worse than when the kids were little.