momantic comedy

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Valentine’s Day is a great day to visit the Dentist

on February 16, 2012

i saw the dentist 6 weeks after i had my third child.  baby #3 slept through the whole appointment.  i was cheered by the staff for having such a sweet baby.  my baby behaved.  my mouth…not so much.  the inflamed gums, the unflossed teeth, the plaque.  the dentist nicely acknowledged i just had a baby!  i wasn’t sleeping!  who has time to brush?  so an appointment was made to come back in four months when i for SURE would have my life back together, my hormones in check, and ample time to make nice with the floss.

i canceled that appointment.  pushed it back 2 months.  i don’t even remember the conversation, something about “i don’t wanna”, and ta-da, i had an appointment on Valentine’s Day.

so with my two older kids tucked away at school, baby #3 (now 7 months) and i trekked the 15 minutes to the dentist.  he cried the whole way.  i nursed him in the car in the parking lot, an old lady smiled at me through the window, yay, and 10 minutes later, a happy baby and i strolled our way to our appointment.

baby #3 was well behaved again!  for 5 minutes.  and then it just got uncomfortable.

see, i KNEW the dentist would want to take X-rays.  it had been 2 years, fine, i get it.  but the MOM in me didn’t feel comfortable having X-rays done while i was still a nursing mom.  call it my mommy instincts, call it neurotic, call it lack of sleep, even cheap if you will, but no rays were gonna X me that day.  and i said so.  to the hygienist.  and i thought it would end with her and she’d cross it off the dental to-do list, and we’d be good.  but noooo she had to tell boss lady.  fine, so the dentist comes in and says, “hi!  you are due for X-rays today.”  and i politely declined.  the conversation went something like this:

“um, no thanks, i don’t feel comfortable with having X-rays, cuz, i’m still nursing.”  and i pointed to the baby in the stroller for back-up.

“oh.  ok.  the X-rays won’t affect your breast milk supply…”

“well, I just don’t feel comfortable…”

“did you read somewhere or hear something that would lead you to believe X-rays are not good for nursing moms?”


“ok so…i’m just trying to understand…”

“it’s just how i feel.”  and i smiled.  to show her my teeth.  just clean them!  i wanted to shout.  while the baby is still happy!

“ok, so, your mom instincts, that’s ok, i don’t want to force you to do anything you don’t want to.  we’ll just do the cleaning today.”  Finally!

so i reclined in the dental chair and got comfortable.  and then baby #3 got uncomfortable.  and he cried.  and they handed him to me to hold.  while i was reclined, in the dental chair, with my eyes closed, and my mouth open with dental tools scraping away.  i tried to bounce him on my legs.  he bit my finger.  and then the dentist called to the hygienist to come back in to the room, for sure to take the baby and calm him down, right?

“do me a favor?  get the camera and take a picture of mom and baby, they are so cute here in the chair!”  seriously?  when i get the promised copy, i’ll post it here.  i am SURE when i get it, i will LOVE LOVE LOVE it and immediately tape it to the baby book, but at the moment, it was just insane.  i heard her squeal when she got the baby to smile for the camera, but i couldn’t see, nor ask, cuz, you know, eyes closed and mouth open with  instruments scraping.  anyway.

so the teeth cleaning is done and i am standing with the baby doing the mom-sway, bracing myself for the dental lecture.  something about i need to floss, no more excuses, do it for my family, do it for my country, yada yada.  and then she said this:

“you know, when you don’t floss, your gums become inflamed.  the toxins that cause inflammation of the gums, they can seep into your breast milk.  and since you are so concerned about your breast milk…”

touche.  well played.  see you in 6 months.  for X-rays.


5 responses to “Valentine’s Day is a great day to visit the Dentist

  1. i laughed. a lot! mostly because i understand!

  2. Evan Sorem says:

    Awesome. I laughed out loud at the picture bit.
    You know dentists have a massive conspiracy going to get you there every 6 months, right. Some dentists take it a little too far – like this guy – Floss or Die –
    Sounds like your little friend is in this group. I might have responded with something like: You are aware that it is hazardous to your health to anger a nursing mother. People have been known to get seriously injured. Just sayin’. See ya next time sweetie.

  3. Natty Pie's mom says:

    Darn those dentist, thinkin’ their all smart and stuff. They aren’t REAL doctors anyway, right? lol

  4. Shawna says:

    So glad you are doing this. So fun to read. Found myself smiling and chuckling the whole way through. Can’t wait to read more!

  5. Brianne says:

    I just love the fact baby D bit your finger, that def. made me laugh, also thought maybe you were throwing some sarcasm re: the photo they took – like maybe ‘OH YAH, SURE IT LOOKS AMAZING’ meanwhile I’m picturing you laid back, eyes closed, mouth wide open, arms stretched out forward wrapped around d’s lil waist bouncing him up and down on one leg (semi straight) hahaha thought to myself yup, def. will be a GLAMOROUS photo lol. I LOVE LOVE LOVE that you are doing this, sooo up your alley Pal ❤ can't wait to make memories/stories with you for this Blog… You Go Sis!

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